Welcome to The Betty Rocker Present! Do you know that Might is Psychological Well being Consciousness Month? Whether or not you’re listening in Might or not, having assets to assist our psychological well being is simply as necessary as having assets to assist our bodily well being.
My visitor at this time is a famend psychotherapist and editor-in-chief of Verywell Thoughts, the largest psychological well being web site on this planet. She’s the host of The Verywell Thoughts Podcast and a global bestselling writer.
Her e-book, “13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do” has been translated into greater than 40 languages and is the primary in a sequence of books that give sensible recommendation that can assist you prepare your mind for happiness and success.
I’m so excited to introduce you to her, and speak by way of a few of my favourite psychological energy suggestions from a few my favourite books of hers (13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Girls Don’t Do is true on the high of my record!) so you possibly can apply them to your personal life. Have a hear, and let me know what stood out to you essentially the most. Hyperlinks to all of Amy’s work are just under!
I’ve been an enormous fan of Amy Morin for a number of years and have collected her books. You could find her full e-book assortment right here, together with:
- 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do
- 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do WORKBOOK
- 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Girls Don’t Do
- 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Mother and father Don’t Do
- 13 Issues Sturdy Youngsters Do
- Amy Morin’s web site
- Psychological Power books by Amy Morin
- Amy Morin on instagram
- Verywell Thoughts Podcast
Episode Transcript
Betty Rocker (00:02):
Welcome to the Betty Rocker Present. The place to be to nourish your thoughts, love your physique, and rock your life.
What’s up, rock stars? Coach Betty Rocker right here. Thanks a lot for becoming a member of me at this time. Do you know that Might is Psychological Well being Consciousness Month? Whether or not you’re listening in Might or not, having assets to assist our psychological well being is simply as necessary as having assets to assist our bodily well being. My visitor at this time is a famend psychotherapist and editor-in-chief of Verywell Thoughts, the largest psychological well being web site on this planet. She’s the host of the Verywell Thoughts podcast and a global bestselling writer. Her e-book 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do has been translated into greater than 40 languages and is the primary in a sequence of books that give sensible recommendation that can assist you prepare your mind for happiness and success. I’ve been an enormous fan of Amy Morin for a number of years and have collected her books. I’m so excited to introduce you to her and speak by way of a few of my favourite psychological energy suggestions so you possibly can apply them to your personal life. Be part of me in welcoming her to the present. Welcome, Amy. So nice to have you ever with us at this time.
Amy Morin (01:29):
Thanks a lot for having me. I’m excited to be right here.
Betty Rocker (01:32):
Sure, and I’ve been such a fan of your work, and it’s actually a thrill to get to interview you as a result of your work is so related. I imply, it’s all the time been related. I don’t really feel prefer it’s ever been extra related to have these psychological instruments to work with. So thanks once more for coming to speak about your work. It’s so, so wanted.
Amy Morin (01:57):
Thanks. The world’s modified quite a bit since I first wrote my first e-book. It was 9 years in the past. Then my most up-to-date e-book was the workbook to the 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do. And after I wrote the workbook, I used to be actually pondering, how has the world modified over the previous 9 years? I used to be like, we didn’t have cell telephones like smartphones. Solely 50% of individuals had smartphones 9 or 10 years in the past.
Betty Rocker (02:22):
Actually?
Amy Morin (02:25):
So the world has modified quite a bit. Clearly COVID hadn’t been invented and all of those different issues which have come about and proceed to emerge. So to speak about how do you construct psychological energy in at this time’s world is all the time an attention-grabbing query.
Betty Rocker (02:39):
And I really feel by no means extra related. I do know that one factor that lots of people round me have famous is the quantity of crime that’s gone up, the quantity of homelessness has gone up. I really feel that we will hint plenty of that again to psychological well being considerations and desperation and folks being sad and never having instruments and infrastructure to deal with the best way that they really feel and the psychological capability to deal with all that’s happening.
Amy Morin (03:13):
I believe so too. Lots of the problems that we’re seeing got here out of place. Within the 70s, we determined we should always shut plenty of the large psychological well being establishments as a result of we don’t wish to institutionalize folks that possibly have one thing like schizophrenia. However then we found out now jails have turn into the largest home for people who find themselves scuffling with persistent and untreated psychological sickness. Then you definately take a look at issues just like the monetary disaster proper now and the way many individuals are struggling to pay their payments, they usually both have gotten homeless or at risk of it. How do you handle your psychological well being and the way are children managing this once they dwell in a house atmosphere that’s disruptive and issues are fragile as properly? It’s positively troublesome.
Betty Rocker (03:57):
And you’ve got 4 books now, right?
Amy Morin (04:00):
5.
Betty Rocker (04:01):
5, okay. So there’s 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do, 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Girls Don’t Do. That’s my favourite e-book. You have got 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Mother and father Don’t Do. Is it 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Youngsters?
Amy Morin (04:19):
This one is-
Betty Rocker (04:19):
I believe that title’s completely different.
Amy Morin (04:21):
This one is 13 Issues Sturdy Youngsters Do.
Betty Rocker (04:23):
Yeah, Sturdy Youngsters Do.
Amy Morin (04:25):
That’s the one one which’s do versus not do.
Betty Rocker (04:27):
I like that framework for the youngsters. I knew there was a special framework. Then you definately got here out with this unbelievable workbook that goes together with the 13 issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do, and I completely love the workbook and have been going by way of the workshops. I really feel very lucky to have had plenty of remedy, had the chance to work on plenty of issues that I struggled with personally in my life. But you’re by no means achieved along with your work and having issues to work by way of. As a result of issues come up on a regular basis and you continue to get triggered, proper? I is perhaps higher at not reacting or rapidly, I is perhaps higher at stopping to consider my response, however I nonetheless really feel offended or damage or I get mad and I would like suggestions and practices. All of us do to work by way of the challenges that we face everyday.
Amy Morin (05:27):
That’s similar to when life goes easily. Typically it’s like, oh yeah, I’m doing properly. However you by no means know the bump within the highway of one thing that you simply didn’t heal but, one thing that’s going to trouble you, issues which are going to return up for you. Issues that possibly you didn’t even know have been a problem and then you definately run into. It is perhaps an individual who for no matter motive rubs you in a sure approach, brings out the worst in you, and you must do some work on: Why does this occur? Why do I lose my mood? Why am I so irritated with this particular person? Or why do I all the time should get the final phrase in with this particular person after I don’t do this in different conditions?
(05:58)
Or possibly it’s a state of affairs such as you encounter a monetary disaster otherwise you lose your job otherwise you’re in a special relationship. No matter it’s, however all of those various things can typically fire up issues that we both didn’t know we hadn’t handled or simply new issues typically too. Perhaps you’ve by no means encountered any individual with a particular persona earlier than, and when you do you assume, “Oh yeah, I’m not achieved engaged on myself but.”
Betty Rocker (06:24):
So true. I wish to get into a few of these, a few of my favourite issues I’ve discovered out of your work. However earlier than I do this, I’m really simply genuinely actually and inquisitive about how you bought into such a work within the first place.
Amy Morin (06:37):
Properly, so I used to be going to be a health care provider on my first day of school. I believed, oh, I’m going to be a pre-med scholar. It’s going to be nice. Then we needed to dissect cats on day two. Everyone was tremendous enthusiastic about dissecting a cat aside from me. So I known as my sister who had a level in psychology and stated, “I’m switching my main to psychology.” She stated, “Why don’t you go for social work? A minimum of you then get a level. A bachelor’s in psychology nowadays is simply too broad.” So switched my main to social work pondering I’ll change it later. I simply needed to not dissect a cat on day two. However I fell in love with social work. So I made a decision to get my grasp’s, and I simply actually needed to work with individuals. I knew then it wasn’t the medical side.
(07:18)
I believed I wish to work with individuals and their minds, so turned a therapist and beloved it. Simply thought that is unbelievable to have the ability to speak to individuals and work out how individuals function. However I actually thought I used to be going to take what I discovered in faculty and apply it to different individuals’s lives. As a result of my life up till that time had been fairly good, however my mother handed away after I was 23. She had a mind aneurysm and it was actually sudden and sudden. She was tremendous. One minute I spoke to her on the cellphone just some hours earlier than she handed away and she or he was tremendous. So to lose her actually did a quantity on me. How do you subtract one of the vital necessary individuals out of your life unexpectedly in such an sudden approach? And so, I used to be actually then turned extra excited about psychological energy from a private perspective of, okay, I wish to know what makes individuals tick and the way come some individuals undergo robust occasions they usually come out higher on the opposite aspect? Or how do some individuals simply keep extra hopeful and optimistic in life on the whole? And the extra I studied individuals, the extra I found out it wasn’t all the time about what they did. It was typically about what they didn’t do. As a therapist, I had a revolving door of simply case research all day lengthy. So whereas I hoped I used to be instructing them issues, I used to be additionally studying from individuals. And so I believed, all proper, individuals who don’t do sure unhealthy habits are inclined to fare higher in life.
(08:35)
Then, that was the three yr anniversary of the day my mother died, my 26 yr outdated husband died of a coronary heart assault. Clearly if you’re 26 you’re not speculated to have a coronary heart assault. He didn’t have any historical past of well being issues. Very like my mother, he’d been tremendous one minute and was gone the subsequent. So then to be a 26-year-old widow and have to determine what do I do now, it was a very darkish place. I’m a therapist, so I ought to know find out how to describe emotions, and I’m an writer so that you’d assume I’d be good with phrases, however I don’t have any phrases for that section of my life apart from to say it was one thing I’d by no means want on anybody.
(09:11)
I simply grieved for an extended, very long time. But I used to be nonetheless speculated to go to work and be a therapist. I didn’t have the luxurious of taking years off to work on myself or something like that. So I needed to go to work and be a therapist and assist different individuals cope with their issues, and actually simply centered on: How do you construct psychological energy? How do you preserve it? How do you undergo the grief with out going round when there’s one thing painful happening? It’s our tendency to say, “I’m going to distract myself. I’m going to do every part I can to cheer myself up. I’ll do something to really feel higher.” However once we do this, we don’t undergo it. So I actual knew that I needed to undergo it, however on the similar time, I needed to undergo it in a approach the place I needed to develop from it.
(09:51)
It took years to really feel like I used to be in a greater place. I believed I’d by no means get remarried. I used to be simply type of like, properly, that was cool. I obtained to be married as soon as and I had love as soon as in my life. However was lucky sufficient, I discover love once more. Acquired a brand new home, a brand new job, began this contemporary begin in my life, after which my father-in-law obtained recognized with most cancers. I used to be similar to, “I simply spent 10 years of my life grieving. I lastly one thing good occurs and right here we go once more.” I sat down and I wrote myself a letter of what mentally robust individuals don’t do. After I was achieved, I had a listing of 13 issues. I put it on the web as a result of it was actually useful to me. So I believed, “Ah, possibly it is going to assist any individual else.”
(10:32)
So I put it on the web pondering three individuals would learn it, however 50 million individuals learn the record. One among them occurred to be a literary agent who known as and stated, “It’s best to write a e-book.” I stated, “There’s a narrative behind it.” As a result of no person knew why I wrote the article. Everyone simply, Fox Information was calling in, Forbes Journal was reprinting my stuff. They have been like, “She’s a therapist. She is aware of all these things.” I used to be like, “Properly, there’s a little bit extra to this story. I really wrote that letter as a result of I wanted it, not as a result of I’m claiming that I’ve this all found out. I’m in a very darkish place myself.”
(11:03)
However determined to inform the story. And so, I had a e-book deal throughout the subsequent month, and earlier than I knew it, I wrote my first e-book and a yr later that hit the cabinets. And right here it’s now, 10 years since I wrote the article. I nonetheless get to discuss psychological energy and speak to individuals equally to the best way I did in my remedy workplace. However now I get to do it on a giant stage and get to speak to individuals such as you in your podcast.
Betty Rocker (11:32):
Thanks and thanks a lot for sharing the backstory with us. I deal and speak to individuals on a regular basis coping with grief and never realizing find out how to course of it, not realizing what to do with it. I imply, what a fantastic factor to do to write down your self a letter within the first place, making an attempt to assist your self, but in addition with the background that you simply had, to have the data to attract from to write down that. I like what you’re so humbled, you saying, “No, I don’t have all of the solutions.” You framed the e-book that approach like, “Right here’s issues we don’t do.” You’re not saying, “Right here, I do know every part that that you must do.” You’re saying, “Right here’s the issues I do know to not do.” I really feel like possibly one factor we learn about if we really feel like we all know issues, we all know that the largest factor we all know is that we don’t know every part. I believe it is a signal of knowledge is that you already know that you simply don’t know in any respect.
Amy Morin (12:27):
Precisely. And after I was overwhelmed, the very last thing I needed was a listing of 110 issues to do. As a result of I believed if I simply get away from bed and brush my tooth at this time, I’d be going to chalk it up as a win. However so long as I knew, “Hey Amy, simply don’t do these items at this time and also you’ll be okay,” in some way that felt higher. So the identical with the individuals that may are available in my remedy workplace. You have already got good habits. It solely takes one counterproductive unhealthy behavior. If we will simply do away with that one or two issues, possibly that may make it easier to transfer ahead in life. For me, that was quite a bit simpler to concentrate on was simply don’t do these sure issues as a result of nothing good comes out of sure unhealthy habits. And within the health realm, any individual may run on the treadmill, but when they’re consuming a dozen jelly donuts proper earlier than they do, yeah, properly, you would possibly wish to hand over the jelly donuts. In any other case, operating on the treadmill isn’t going to be almost as efficient.
Betty Rocker (13:19):
That’s so true. And it’s one in all my favourite issues within the first e-book in The 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do is you’ve got… it’s the second on the record. It’s, don’t give away your energy. And it’s in all probability one of the vital fashionable, most talked about of the record in that e-book. I imply, they’re all superb. However this one, I puzzled for those who would communicate to it a little bit bit. Why did you add this to the record? What does it imply? And why is it so necessary in psychological energy to not give away your energy?
Amy Morin (13:58):
You’re proper. That is positively one of many ones individuals wish to speak about most actually because I believe we do it essentially the most and we don’t speak sufficient about this. So after I say, “Don’t give away your energy.”, what I’m actually referring to is don’t permit anyone else to have the facility to wreck your day, to make you mad, to power you to do belongings you don’t wish to do, to really feel unhealthy about your self, all of these items that we frequently wish to blame on different individuals.
(14:24)
But when we cease and give it some thought, I’m in command of how I believe, really feel and behave from the time I get up till the time I am going to mattress. I get to decide on who I’m going to encompass myself with, I get to decide on what sort of ideas run by way of my head. I can reply to the unfavourable ideas I’ve in a wholesome approach, if I wish to. I don’t should consider what different individuals say about me.
(14:45)
Nevertheless it’s so tempting guilty different individuals. You would possibly say, “My boss makes me work late.” Your boss doesn’t make you. And whilst you may need penalties for those who didn’t work late, such as you didn’t get your work achieved, you would possibly get in hassle for that, possibly even get fired. However simply reframing your language to say, “I’m selecting to do that at this time.”
(15:05)
And we will do this with a lot of stuff. I imply, even to today, I’ll discover myself being like, “Oh, I’ve to go to the grocery retailer.” Properly, no, I don’t should go. If I don’t go, possibly I’m not going to have the ingredient I wish to make one thing. However the world’s nonetheless going to proceed to rotate on its entry, regardless. So typically simply altering our language and recognizing the folks that we blame, the folks that we give that energy to. As a result of typically we predict, “Oh, my coworker wastes my time.”, Or, “My mother-in-law steals all my vitality.” Or simply get an e mail 5 minutes earlier than we logged in about any individual who stated, “I’m actually bored with my household all the time following us on our trip.” It’s like prolonged household, the in-laws tag on to trip. “I don’t know what to do. They all the time wreck our journeys.” Properly, inform them to not go.
(15:49)
You have got that choice. However typically we overlook that we now have the facility to say no. We are able to set boundaries with individuals and that we get to make plenty of our personal selections all day every single day. And that’s scary as a result of it means I’m accountable. However however, it means I get to take accountability for it. And if I wish to create the very best life I can, I’ve that energy too.
Betty Rocker (16:11):
Sure. You talked about blaming others, which is likely one of the issues why we put others down. Don’t put others all the way down to raise others up. That is in The 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Girls Don’t Do, and it’s one in all my favorites in there. Why can we really feel the necessity to put different individuals down to be able to construct ourselves up?
(16:32)
And I believe you have been relating some themes that sound like, we’re speaking a little bit bit about individuals pleasing as an inclination and never having template for setting good boundaries in our lives. These fundamental expertise that in the event that they’re not modeled to us very properly as kids, to should study them as adults may be actually painful and troublesome. As a result of we wish to really feel beloved, we wish to be appreciated. And so many people are individuals pleasers.
(17:03)
I don’t know for those who’d agree, however I really feel like possibly extra ladies are individuals pleasers, tend to be individuals pleasers. To not say everybody can’t be a individuals pleaser, however I really feel like we’re type of ingrained in our methods to be good, to be good little ladies, and to be pleasing in so some ways, our look are speech, all of these items. And it’s difficult to interrupt these patterns, when they’re inflicting us to present away our energy.
Amy Morin (17:37):
Completely. And also you’re positively proper about all of these issues that you simply simply stated, that there’s societal pressures and norms and issues that trigger us to assume, “If I communicate up, I received’t be appreciated.” And typically it’s true. You is perhaps penalized at work. If communicate out at a gathering and also you’re the one who says, “Really, I’m not going to go for this.”, or, “That’s not okay that we’re doing it this manner.”, there could also be penalties to that. And girls are inclined to face a few of these penalties maybe greater than males do.
(18:04)
So simply recognizing that although, and realizing, “Yeah, properly, what’s the implications of not talking up?” Or, “What value am I paying, if I say sure to every part that’s requested of me? What does that imply I’m saying no to?” As a result of typically we predict, “Oh, all proper, I’m going to go do this favor for a buddy.” Properly, each time you do this, you’re saying no to one thing else. What may else may you’ve got achieved along with your night? Or what else may you’ve got achieved along with your time? If it’s one thing you actually didn’t wish to do, simply backing up and saying, “Properly, what else am I saying no to?” And that you simply don’t should. Simply recognizing you don’t should say sure to every part that’s requested of you. You don’t should be appreciated by everybody.
(18:40)
And it’s actually liberating. When you get to that time the place you assume, “Ah, so-and-so doesn’t like me, and I’m okay with that.”, is big. However for therefore lengthy, I imply, I spent plenty of my life feeling like, “Oh, if any individual doesn’t like me, it have to be one thing unsuitable with me.” Nope, that’s really not the case. And it took some time to get to the purpose the place I could possibly be like, “Properly, that’s okay. If that particular person doesn’t like me, may need one thing to do with me, my persona. Won’t. Might need that I remind them of any individual else that they don’t like. Or it would simply be one thing I stated that they disagreed with or who is aware of. Nevertheless it’s actually none of my enterprise and I don’t should attempt to change my conduct in a approach that causes them to love me, if they simply don’t like me. And that’s okay.”
Betty Rocker (19:22):
Proper. Being okay with them not liking us. And this sort of jogs my memory of, I simply was pondering, why is it we so usually default to this mode of, I’m not ok, once we consistently see different individuals because the authority, or that they’re ok or that’s simply such a insidious type of psychological loop I see lots of people get caught in?
Amy Morin (19:44):
That’s in all probability the primary factor that’s beneath virtually each motive why individuals come into my remedy workplace, that they are going to say things-
Betty Rocker (19:53):
Their worthiness.
Amy Morin (19:54):
Yeah, we’ll ask a query typically, similar to, “Properly, what would that imply?” We did that about 3 times. So if any individual says, ” Properly, I’ve to go to this factor on Saturday that I don’t wish to go to, an occasion, as a result of…” And so we’ll say, “Properly, what would it not imply for those who didn’t?” “Properly, it would imply I’m a nasty buddy.” “Properly, what would that imply for those who have been a nasty buddy to this particular person?” “Properly, then that may imply that I’m not very likable.” “Properly, what would that imply?” “Properly, it’d imply I’m not a ok particular person.” Normally that’s what we uncover, after simply asking that query a couple of occasions. What would it not imply?
(20:22)
And it’s highly effective to do this as a result of we do, we predict, “I’m not a ok particular person. I’m not good sufficient. I’m not, I don’t know, ok at social media.” There’s 1,000,000 issues individuals give you. I’m not engaging sufficient, I don’t have the funds for, I’m not good sufficient. After which once we stroll round feeling like that, actually deep down at our core, I imply, it impacts the best way we take into consideration ourselves. After we mess up, it’s proof if I’m not ok. And when any individual doesn’t such as you, and that’s simply extra proof that clearly you’re not ok. And it’s like we accumulate proof that basically reinforces that perception that clearly, I’m not ok.
(20:56)
And when there’s proof on the contrary, like your boss says you probably did an important job, otherwise you do one thing actually type for any individual, it’s like we chalk it as much as luck. Like, “Properly, that one factor.” Or we predict, “Properly, any individual else helped with it, so the half I performed was actually no massive deal.” We actually downplay these issues as a result of we’re simply caught searching for proof of clearly I’m not ok.
Betty Rocker (21:21):
And we’re not capable of acknowledge the issues that we did. Identical to you talked a short while in the past about not having the ability to take accountability for our personal half in issues once we’re blaming different individuals, we’re not acknowledging the issues that we did. And there’s virtually a accountability there to acknowledge, to see ourselves for all of the work that we’re placing in. After which that is the consequence of that, that you simply obtained praised for that. It’s not as a result of there’s… that’s it. You earned this.
(21:52)
And but there’s this… One among my favourite of the tenets in The 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Girls Don’t Do was, don’t insist on perfection. And this is likely one of the largest issues that I see in my health and well being model. And that is so, so frequent as a result of it looks like there’s this invisible guidelines. I must be an ideal mother. I must be an ideal spouse. I have to have an ideal physique. I have to have an ideal job. I would like all these and all these items I have to stack on high of one another. And so they all must be good always. And since they by no means shall be, we’re all the time a failure at every part. We’re all the time feeling like we don’t measure up, we’re unfit.
(22:41)
And that is on the coronary heart of plenty of the deeper work that we attempt to do to heal that mentality with people who find themselves striving to be wholesome, simply bodily wholesome. Psychological well being is a big a part of that. So, I’ll use phrases like [flawsome 00:23:02]. I’ve an idea known as, all or one thing, as a substitute of all or nothing. However you’ve got written about this so fantastically, this perfection drawback. Why can we really feel that we must be so good?
Amy Morin (23:18):
Once more, I believe it goes again to that concept of, “If I have been simply good sufficient, then I’d be ok.”
Betty Rocker (23:23):
Adequate. Yeah.
Amy Morin (23:25):
Then we transfer the bar. So even once we set a objective, you obtain it, and it doesn’t deliver the happiness or the reduction that you simply assume it’s going to. So whether or not it’s a weight reduction objective or health objective, or possibly it’s a objective about schooling or cash, once we attain that, then we hit like, “Properly, it doesn’t deliver me the satisfaction I believed it was going to.” So, we set one other objective and transfer the bar a little bit bit like, “If I simply did this a little bit extra, I had a little bit bit extra, then I’d lastly really feel ok.”
(23:51)
And I see this occur on a regular basis, that individuals maintain shifting the bar. And on the skin they appear like actually, actually completely satisfied, profitable individuals, as a result of they’re attaining all of these items. However on the within they’re type of depressing as a result of they’re pondering, “Yeah, however I’m doing all of this, however I nonetheless don’t really feel like I’m ok.”
(24:06)
And the opposite factor I see lots of people do is self sabotage. And it sounds extremely unusual that we’d do that, however we in all probability all have examples of once we’ve achieved this in our life. Whenever you’re engaged on a objective and also you’re not fairly certain if you will get there or not, and there’s nervousness, there’s a rigidity, and there’s the questioning. After which there’s the concern too of like, “Properly, if I do attain that objective, what occurs? And what if I do my highest and it’s not ok? Then it is going to simply show to me that the truth is, I’m not ok.” And other people will say, “Properly, there’s a giant concern of failure.” However I believe plenty of it’s really the concern of making an attempt your greatest and never attaining it, as a result of then what would that imply?
(24:45)
So I see individuals throw within the towel earlier than they get there, and typically individuals don’t even know they’re doing it. And any individual who stated, “I’m engaged on my health objective.”, possibly they’ve an entire week the place they simply eat junk meals they usually don’t train in any respect, proper earlier than they get to the end line of a sure objective they have been going to achieve. After which they are saying, “Properly, yeah, I’m undecided what occurred.”, or, “I simply misplaced motivation.” However actually it was like this nervousness. And that’s one of the best ways to do away with it, is for those who assume, “There’s this uncertainty, if I’m going to have the ability to hold in there lengthy sufficient, and one of the best ways to do away with the uncomfortable uncertainty is for me to only blow it. If I simply go and do that different factor and blow it myself, then I don’t should have that angst of and the stress that I’d really feel whereas I’m ready to see if I can attain the objective.”
(25:25)
See that occurs so usually, and it’s usually rooted on this concept that I’ve to be good. And if I’m not good, I’m not ok. After which this concept of, “Properly, I’m simply going to blow it anyway as a result of clearly I’m not ok.” And it’s reinforcing a sample of conduct emerges, after which individuals simply see believing, “Properly see, I couldn’t do it, so due to this fact I’m not ok.” Very unusual, however I wager if all of us appeared in our lives, we may discover occasions once we’ve achieved this ourselves.
Betty Rocker (25:50):
I certain can. And I see it every single day. Particularly like we’re utilizing health for example, since that’s my enterprise, I see individuals soar from program to program as a result of they don’t really give the time to this system they’re doing proper as a result of it doesn’t give a quick sufficient outcome. And anticipating this quick outcome from issues is one other symptom of an even bigger drawback. And it’s one thing else that you simply speak about, after all, since you’ve recognized it as one of many issues that mentally robust individuals don’t do is that they don’t count on this in a single day, speedy outcome. However earlier than I speak about that, one factor I needed to ask is how do you assist individuals dismantle this perception that they’re unfit?
Amy Morin (26:34):
So we chip away at it typically in a couple of completely different instructions. So one is working towards their self-talk and simply looking on the approach they consider themselves. And most of the people don’t speak to themselves almost as kindly as they even assume that they do. In case you ask individuals, they is perhaps like, “Oh, I’m type of arduous on myself typically.” However we’ll actually dissect the best way that they assume. They could maintain a journal for every week or a log about what they’re really pondering, and we check out it and persons are often stunned to see how usually they name themselves names, they put themselves down. And so they’ll sit in my workplace and be like, “I’m verbally abusive to myself, and I had no concept that this voice in my head tells me consistently ‘I’m silly,’ ‘I’m fats,’ ‘I’m ugly,’ ‘I’m not ok,’ ‘I can’t probably succeed,’ ‘No one likes you,’ no matter it’s. However lots of people will discover that they’ve a tape operating of their head that they didn’t even discover as a result of it’s been there for therefore lengthy that they didn’t notice how unfavourable it’s.
(27:29)
So typically we chip away at that and we observe some self-compassion. In case you wouldn’t say it to a buddy, don’t say it to your self. However for those who do, if you catch your self, as a result of this behavior’s going to be arduous to alter if you catch your self pondering horrible issues, you’re going to speak again to that voice and say, “Really, you probably did okay at this time and also you tried your hardest,” or, “That’s in all probability not true, that is simply your nervousness telling you that you’re going to mess every part up. As an alternative, you’re in all probability going to be okay.” Simply ask your self, “What would I say to my buddy proper now?” And also you give your self that very same recommendation. In order that’s a technique we chip away at it. Different individuals, we type of simply check out all of the proof. All proper, you’re feeling such as you’re not ok. What’s the proof that that’s true? We would have a listing of 101 issues they will give you from the previous month that claims, “I’m not ok.”
(28:16)
However then we take the flip aspect of it, and let’s take a look at the proof that possibly you’re ok, give you an extended record there too, simply to acknowledge that possibly your mind performs tips on you. You don’t should consider every part that you simply assume. And for different individuals, it’s about altering the conduct first. So another person would possibly say, “Properly, I’m not ok so I don’t trouble to attempt for a promotion,” or, “I don’t trouble to attempt to take cost of my well being as a result of it’s not going to work anyway,” or, “I don’t trouble going out as a result of individuals aren’t going to love me.” So we are saying, “Let’s problem that perception.” It’s a behavioral experiment. Let’s say you really do exit and do a type of issues. And what may a objective be? Perhaps you’re going to go to this networking occasion, you’re going to introduce your self to 5 individuals, and we’re going to chalk that as much as success.
(28:57)
I don’t care for those who get plenty of enterprise from this occasion, let’s simply say that’s your objective and also you go on the market and do it. We begin with small steps and folks begin altering their conduct first after which they see, “Oh, possibly my mind does underestimate me or possibly it does mislead me typically,” and you may show your self unsuitable. Nevertheless it takes small steps. And when you’ve held on to a perception for a very long time, it doesn’t go away in a single day both, you’re not going to get up tomorrow and be like, “I really feel nice, I’m superb.” It’s going to take a while. And there’ll be completely different factors in your life the place it creeps again up on you. So for those who get rejected for one thing otherwise you fail at one thing, there’s probability these beliefs would possibly come again up. Otherwise you hit a bout the place you battle with melancholy, plenty of these beliefs will begin to get stirred up once more. And they may not even be associated to an exterior occasion, it would simply be about what’s happening inside you.
(29:46)
However when you study to acknowledge that, “Okay, I’m headed again down into this spiral, how do I be sure that I don’t behave in a approach that reinforces that perception?” And other people have the arrogance to say, “All proper, I’m headed down that path once more, however right here’s what I’m going to do as a substitute. I’m nonetheless going to exit, I’m nonetheless going to go do these items, I’m nonetheless going to attempt one thing new.” And it interrupts that cycle so that they don’t really feel like they’re headed down that very same spiral.
Betty Rocker (30:10):
These are actually highly effective suggestions, and I really feel it’s so necessary to remind ourselves that our mind, no matter we’re pondering, the spiral that we’re in isn’t every part that we’re able to fascinated with. And typically we’d like a reminder for somebody to say, “Hey, look, you’re so centered on this whole laundry record of issues that you simply assume are unsuitable with you or that you simply’ve achieved unsuitable. And all of us make errors in life, and also you’re so centered on people who you’ve failed to have a look at the record of the issues that you simply’ve achieved properly, the generosity that you simply’ve exhibited, all of the belongings you’ve achieved so properly. And it’s like, so which aspect, the nice or the unfavourable, are you going to feed mentally about your self along with your unfavourable ideas? And I discussed errors a minute in the past, and I really feel like we repeat our errors again and again typically. After which as I simply marvel, why can we repeat our errors so simply?
Amy Morin (31:23):
A few causes. I believe typically we simply have a go-to. It is perhaps one thing that we attain for once we’re offended, one thing we do once we’re anxious. And we don’t actually acknowledge, “Why did I do this? What’s the emotion behind why I did it?” Perhaps it’s since you’re bored, possibly it’s since you’re lonely. And recognizing that emotion and what’s a greater approach to care for it could usually maintain us from doing that. So it is perhaps that any individual has a objective on the subject of their meals they usually say, “I’m not going to eat sure meals. However then after I’m actually wired, guess what I do? I am going again to these outdated habits.” Or any individual who’s has a monetary objective and he’s like, “Properly, after I’m lonely, what do I do? I store on-line.” So simply recognizing what’s the emotion? What was the set off that led to that? After which what can I do as a substitute? Subsequent time I really feel that emotion, what am I going to do? And typically individuals will give you a plan too. I’m going to plan forward.
(32:15)
So there was a person I labored with who used to say, “Amy, every single day after work, I wish to go to the health club. After which as soon as I really get out of labor, I’m like, ‘I’m drained. I’m going to go house at this time.’” So we got here up with a listing on his steering wheel of the highest 10 the explanation why he ought to go to the health club as a result of when he pulled out of the parking zone, he may go and he may go house, or he may flip left and he may go to the health club. So earlier than he began his automobile every single day he would learn this record of the ten the explanation why he ought to go to the health club and speak himself into it as a substitute of permitting himself to speak himself out of it.
(32:46)
Or I had one other lady I labored with who had an ex who wasn’t good for her, however when she noticed his quantity on the cellphone, she would instantly reply it. And she or he was excited to listen to from him, however deep down she knew it wasn’t good for her. So we taped a listing of all of the the explanation why she shouldn’t reply the cellphone to the again of her cellphone.
Betty Rocker (33:02):
I like it.
Amy Morin (33:03):
And when the cellphone would would ring, she knew if it was him, earlier than she may decide up, she no less than needed to learn that record. And if she nonetheless felt like answering the cellphone on the finish of that, then she’d give herself permission to do it. She’d flipped the cellphone over and she or he’d begin to learn a few of the the explanation why she shouldn’t speak to him. And she or he stated, “Yeah, no. Then it was straightforward, I didn’t decide the cellphone up as a result of I used to be capable of be reminded.” Nevertheless it nonetheless is feelings that usually speak us into doing issues we don’t wish to do. Her pleasure to reply the cellphone made her overlook about all of the unhealthy issues he’d achieved to her prior to now, or the man who will get out of labor and thinks he’s drained talks himself into going house. However he discovered find out how to speak himself into really doing one thing that was more healthy. So simply getting a greater deal with on what our feelings are and the way these feelings drive our selections makes an enormous distinction.
Betty Rocker (33:49):
That’s a tremendous share. And it jogs my memory a little bit little bit of the way you began this dialog with me, telling me concerning the letter you wrote to your self, which had 13 Issues That Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do as a approach so that you can cope along with your grief. And what a strong approach that’s to work with the innate intelligence of your personal thoughts. So from each of those two individuals within the examples you simply shared, every of them had the record in their very own head. That they had all the explanations and all the examples themselves to assist themselves, however they’d fixate on the speedy sensation, the speedy feeling within the second. For her, it was that robust overpowering affiliation of the love they used, the couple used to share. For the person, it was his fatigue on the finish of the day. And but once they may take a look at the record of issues that they themselves had thought of, the intention that they’d set, they have been capable of comply with by way of with their objective.
(34:46)
And I beloved too the way you had them put the record in a big place the place they may see it in the course of the time when that motion would occur. What a strong device that anybody may do. I imply, for those who catch your self, so one factor we see quite a bit within the health trade is individuals physique checking. In order that they’re consistently trying within the mirror to see how does their physique look? How does it examine to different individuals’s our bodies? How does it examine to what their expectation is of their head of perfection? And this may be actually damaging due to all that psychological self-talk that we have been speaking about. And so I’ve the considered why not write a listing of all the explanations that you’re ok, what are the issues about your self which are so fantastic that you might possibly see if you look within the mirror? And for those who can’t consider them, use what Amy stated a couple of minutes in the past; what would one in all your pals inform you about your self?
(35:39)
In case you have been speaking to one in all your pals and she or he was telling you all these horrible issues about herself and saying how shitty she felt and the way fats she was and all this, you don’t sit there and say, “Yeah, you’re proper. You’re a shitty particular person, you’re fats, you’re horrible.” You say, “Oh my gosh, let me inform you what I see in you. Let me be that mirror to replicate again the greatness that I see in you, my expensive buddy.” So you’ve got the chance to be that mirror to your self to replicate again these optimistic issues. And for those who can’t, take into consideration what your buddy would inform you and write them down on a listing, and put that in your mirror and take a look at it anytime you’re feeling the necessity to have a look at your self critically. It’s not that we now have to not see issues that we wish to work on in ourselves, it’s not that we will’t have flaws. That is why I like Flawsome as a result of I really feel prefer it’s we’re human, we’re speculated to have issues to work on, it’s regular.
(36:32)
However to be so fixated on them and to make use of that to undermine our happiness, this takes away the enjoyment of life and can derail you from reaching targets, I believe. And that’s what these books are so useful for, they simply actually take you on that journey of creating psychological energy and having a reference. Whenever you’re feeling crappy to choose up a e-book like this and skim one thing uplifting and skim a psychological framework shift, I believe all of us want that. It’s arduous within the second if you’re associating a powerful emotion to drag your self out of that alone with out instruments.
Amy Morin (37:13):
Completely. And typically individuals will say to me, “Why’d you make your e-book unfavourable? It’s about what to not do.” And I’ll attempt to clarify to them, “I don’t know. I discover it liberating to say, ‘Okay, Amy, simply don’t do these sure issues at this time and also you’ll be okay.’” And I don’t discover it to be unfavourable to say, “Let’s hand over your worst habits.” And as a therapist, I used to be skilled to actually construct on individuals’s strengths. After they are available in, level out what they’re doing properly, assist them maintain doing that. Yeah, completely, that’s an exquisite factor to do. However what if I don’t level out the one or two belongings you’re doing that outweighs all the optimistic issues you’ve got? I felt like I used to be doing individuals a disservice if I didn’t say, “However by the best way, though you observe gratitude 23 hours a day, it’s that one hour that you simply spend indulging and feeling sorry for your self that’s outdoing all of the gratitude. Let’s work out find out how to concentrate on that too so that you simply don’t do this. I would like your good habits to be efficient.”
Betty Rocker (38:02):
And as adults, I really feel like we are inclined to stack up these to-do lists. We talked about this earlier. We have a tendency to only begin to construct all of those to-do lists round our days, how a lot stuff we now have to do. It’s very liberating to take some issues off the record. So I just like the framework. I famous that the youngsters e-book, like we have been speaking about earlier, after I was making an attempt to recollect find out how to say it accurately, as a result of it breaks the format.
Amy Morin (38:27):
Proper.
Betty Rocker (38:27):
Youngsters, however, want a special construction, right? You framed that within the optimistic for motive.
Amy Morin (38:35):
Yeah. When it got here to the youngsters e-book, my ideas have been, “I hope that if we train children these wholesome habits now, like perseverance, then we don’t have to show them not to surrender after failure as an grownup.” So if we train these optimistic issues now, they received’t develop the unhealthy habits that almost all of us did as a result of we didn’t study these items as children. And in addition, I had a niece who was 10 on the time, and she or he stated, “Oh, Auntie Ame, we get instructed what to not do on a regular basis. Are you able to simply write a e-book for youths about what to do?” And I believed you’re proper, we should always have a e-book about what to do for youths. So I used to be excited to have the ability to write that e-book as a result of children don’t study these things. The rationale I assume I wrote it within the first place was after I wrote my first e-book, the largest query I had was from dad and mom who stated, “Now, how do I train this to my children?” So I wrote a parenting e-book to assist dad and mom work out, how do you do that at house? However then dad and mom have been actually asking, “Okay, now what else do I do to assist reinforce this to my children?”
(39:27)
And that’s why the youngsters’ e-book got here after that was as a result of I needed dad and mom to have the talents first, as a result of then you possibly can reinforce it. After which I needed children to have the ability to sit down and skim one thing about tales about different children and to know, “That is what labored for this child, or this child struggles with one thing like I do too. Right here’s what can work.” And that was a very enjoyable one to write down too.
Betty Rocker (39:48):
Tales are so highly effective and necessary for us to grasp ourselves. I believe you’re so proper.
Amy Morin (39:52):
Sure.
Betty Rocker (39:54):
I completely love… I believe too, relating the theme of how can we construct wholesome habits into children? And since such as you stated, as adults, we’re having to unlearn plenty of unhealthy habits or break templates that have been put in in our working programs with out anyone intending for that to occur. However that’s simply the way it occurred. And right here we go. Now we’re adults having malfunctions with our working system. I used to say after I was doing plenty of remedy was I used to be making an attempt to reprogram my mind. I used to be making an attempt to do away with a few of the bugs in my working system and making an attempt to put in some upgraded software program mainly as a result of I wasn’t functioning in a wholesome approach on a regular basis.
Amy Morin (40:44):
And that’s a great way to place it, as a result of we don’t discover it. It’s our personal mind. So it’s arduous to note what our errors are or how the habits which are holding us again. And fogeys will say, “I don’t know what to do. How do I train my children?” And plenty of the habits dad and mom have, your children study by watching you. So in my remedy workplace, I labored with children for a very long time and children would say issues like, “Properly, I don’t assume my dad and mom ever get offended.” Or, “What does your mother do when she’s unhappy?” They’re like, “I don’t know. I’ve by no means actually seen her unhappy.” Or, “They actually solely get offended after I go away my toys out. However that’s it. Apart from that, my dad and mom don’t get mad.”
(41:19)
As a result of we simply don’t speak about feelings at house. When dad and mom make errors, we don’t wish to go to the youngsters and apologize. As a result of plenty of dad and mom are like, “I don’t wish to look weak. I don’t wish to inform them I’m tousled.” All of us make errors. So nearly function modeling the youngsters. What do you do if you make a mistake? How do you come clean with it? It’s embarrassing. What do you say? Otherwise you’ve tousled and royally in entrance of a complete bunch of individuals. How do you’re taking accountability for that? Or how do you speak to your children? You don’t wish to burden them with grownup issues by telling them about your boss and different points happening at work. However however, you need children to know, typically life is hard and right here’s what I do.
(41:53)
Whether or not you learn a e-book otherwise you train, no matter sorts of coping methods you’ve got for youths to know, “Oh, that’s why mother or dad does these items as a result of they’re making an attempt to cope with their unhappy feelings. Or once they’re offended, that is what they do and that’s how they cope with it”. And simply placing a label on emotions. I don’t learn about you, however at my home as a child, we didn’t actually speak that a lot about emotions, emotion phrases, that type of stuff. They didn’t actually come up in on a regular basis dialog. And lots of people don’t know at the same time as adults, how do you label an emotion? How do you speak about it?
(42:23)
The extra we do this for youths, the extra that we at house can say issues like, “It appears such as you’re offended proper now. Let’s work out what to do.” Or, ” I’m feeling actually type of unhappy at this time, so I’m not going to do this.” Or no matter it’s. However for youths to know that all of us have feelings and all of us have selections in how we handle these feelings generally is a nice first step into instructing children find out how to develop as much as be mentally stronger.
Betty Rocker (42:45):
That’s superb. I believe quite a bit concerning the function modeling that you simply talked about. Lots of the ladies I care for in my communities, one of many dialog factors we now have quite a bit is children don’t decide up what you inform them to do, they decide up what you present them find out how to be. And this factor concerning the fixed beating ourselves up mentally, typically that unfavourable self-talk in the direction of our personal our bodies and this fixed shaming of our physique for not being good, we study that from watching another person mannequin it. And so we’re inadvertently modeling that to the youngsters that come after us.
(43:24)
And so actually understanding that and realizing that this work is so necessary to do, not only for your self, however for the youngsters who’re trying as much as you. And possibly it’s not simply your personal children, however could possibly be children that you simply come into contact with, and different individuals as properly. We’ve such an affect by way of our conduct and taking possession of that’s so necessary. I actually love that entire framework that you’ve there.
Amy Morin (43:55):
Thanks. I really like what you simply stated, that we will affect individuals round us. As a result of I hear a lot the place persons are like, “Properly, you possibly can’t change anybody else.” You may’t power anyone else to alter. However I assure you possibly can have an enormous affect on your loved ones, whether or not it’s your associate, your neighbor, your pals, the individuals you spend time with, your feelings are contagious and the best way that you simply deal with them. And if you function mannequin boundaries for different individuals, you possibly can have a big impact on how they work together with others. You may train individuals so many issues by the best way that we behave. So I’m glad that you simply introduced that up too.
Betty Rocker (44:28):
I believe plenty of what I maintain fascinated with as we speak about this are households and loving partnerships. I believe a lot of this interpersonal battle that individuals have comes from household relationships. Boundary setting is the toughest. You would possibly discover a approach to observe it at work, however you battle to observe it at house within the household setting. And it’s just like the individuals who we love essentially the most, we battle essentially the most with in individuals pleasing and boundary setting in all of those elements of our interpersonal relationships. It takes a really mentally robust particular person to have the ability to break programming with the core, with the household. Wouldn’t you say?
Amy Morin (45:19):
Completely. The best way that we grew up impacts us in so some ways. And folks that have identified you for a very long time may have sure expectations of you. I’ve instructed this story earlier than. My sister’s a therapist now, she’s 4 years older than I’m. And after I was a child, I used to be tremendous shy and she or he spoke for me. I simply by no means talked. She all the time talked for me.
(45:38)
She came around me a couple of years in the past and we have been outdoors. And I dwell in South Florida the place it’s actually sunny. And so she was going to ask the wait employees if we may have an umbrella at our desk. However she was asking for me as a result of she forgets that as an grownup, I can speak now. I child you not. I’m not the identical shy child. However similar with buddies, household from again house anticipating me to be the actually shy child that I used to be as a result of they knew me again then. And so once they hear me now, they’re like, “You have got a podcast?” “Do you actually hear me?
(46:07)
Issues like that as a result of we get caught in plenty of these roles. Otherwise you would possibly say, “Properly, I’ve by no means set a boundary with my mom earlier than.” And right here I’m 40 years outdated and I’m making an attempt to inform her, “No, really I’m not going to speak to you about that.” Or, “That’s not your enterprise.” Or, “I’m going to hold the cellphone up for those who speak to me like that.” Feels actually weird. However typically these are our greatest alternatives to say, “That is the place I would like to begin working towards these items.” And yeah, there is perhaps repercussions for it, however it will also be one of many kindest and greatest issues we will do is to set more healthy boundaries with individuals and to attempt to outgrow a few of these labels and expectations that individuals may need on us.
Betty Rocker (46:45):
And in addition hearkening again to what you stated about how our actions and behaviors affect individuals round us. In sibling relationships, if one sibling has the braveness to face up and set a boundary, it provides the others an instance that it’s no less than a chance to point out one other approach to do issues.
Amy Morin (47:09):
Precisely. As a result of we see household dynamics get so weird and you’ve got siblings. Granted any individual within the household’s in all probability scuffling with a psychological well being concern, a substance abuse concern, prolonged household, and who’s speaking to who, and folks begin taking sides and issues can get actually sophisticated. And realizing, all proper, regardless of how sophisticated issues are or how messy it’s, it’s nonetheless as much as me to say, “That is what I’m going to permit in my life and the way I wish to be handled.”
Betty Rocker (47:36):
So true. It’s all the time so private. That is the factor, your psychological well being is so private and that’s why it’s as much as you to do the work to care for it. And plenty of you listening, do the work to care for your bodily well being. You go to the ends of your time, your vitality to care for your bodily well being. And a part of one of many causes I actually needed to interview Amy and share her with all of you is as a result of your psychological well being is a very powerful well being that you’ve.
(48:12)
Taking good care of it, investing the time and caring for it in these ideas that you’ve and in the best way you develop energy all through your day-to-day life and thru the encounters you’ve got with different individuals, to me it’s been a very powerful side of my very own progress and happiness. I actually, actually recognize these books, this work. It’s so wanted and worthwhile and I’m so grateful that you simply got here to speak to us about all of it at this time.
(48:47)
I wish to share a few of the locations individuals can join with you. However earlier than I do this, I wish to provide the final phrase. Is there something that we didn’t contact on that you simply’d wish to impart or share with individuals listening?
Amy Morin (49:00):
I assume I’d simply say you’re stronger than you assume. Don’t consider your mind on a regular basis. And to do issues on objective that will let you see how cool you’re, how highly effective you’re, whether or not it’s a health problem and also you simply don’t take heed to your mind. I inform my viewers, I am going operating every single day and I run as quick as I can and my mind will inform me, “Oh, you must cease. You may’t maintain this up.” I on purposely simply maintain operating simply to search out methods to show to myself that I don’t should take heed to my mind. I believe once we all do these issues, it teaches us that, “Yeah, I’m extra stronger and extra succesful than my mind provides me credit score for.”
Betty Rocker (49:34):
Additionally true. Thanks for sharing that. Now you talked about earlier you’ve got a podcast, The Verywell Thoughts Podcast. Did I say it proper?
Amy Morin (49:42):
You probably did.
Betty Rocker (49:44):
That’s the podcast. So take a look at Amy’s podcast, The Verywell Thoughts Podcast. You may comply with her on Instagram. Is it amymorinauthor on Instagram?
Amy Morin (49:53):
Yep.
Betty Rocker (49:55):
And Fb, after all, you possibly can simply e-book her up. Amy Morin. Another locations you need me to inform them that they will discover you that I didn’t point out?
Amy Morin (50:04):
I assume my web site’s, the opposite greatest web site which is amymorinlcsw, as in licensed medical social employee.com.
Betty Rocker (50:12):
And there you’ll find entry to all of her unbelievable books, this superior new workbook that she has for the unique e-book. 13 Issues Mentally Sturdy Individuals Don’t Do. I really like that you’ve these books for fogeys and children as properly now. Simply incredible. This e-book for ladies. Learn all of the books that she has. They’re superb. And I encourage you to additionally take a look at her movies that she shares on her Instagram web page since you’re all the time giving tidbits and nuggets and issues that assist me keep related to the issues I discovered within the books. They remind me to go take a look at the books after I want inspiration typically.
(50:48)
So once more, Amy, thanks a lot in your time at this time and for sharing all of those nice suggestions with us and these tales, and we sit up for connecting with you once more very quickly.
Amy Morin (50:59):
Thanks a lot for having me.
Betty Rocker (60:05)
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